The words on the pages keep howling.
Hear them rejoice, hear them mourn.
You are welcome to walk the darkness of my broken mind, but care not to lose your way out.
Terrence is the name, writing is the game. If knowing me further is your aim, here's my life in a virtual frame.
4:00 pm. The sun’s glare struck my eyes, but it was the least of my concerns at that moment. It seemed as if I was flung back to a distant, forgotten past in a blink. Memories flooded my head; emotions from then and now fought for dominance over the other. I struggled to form an expression of candid surprise. However, I saw my fingers trembling at the corner of my eyes. Apprehensively, I met her gaze with a smile.
"Fancy seeing you here again!" My tone was of cool detachment.
"Oh my God!" Her delicate hands covered her mouth, her eyes shining with genuine shock.
There was a pause. We simply stood there. She was almost gawking at me, at a loss for words. I was no different; I felt my smile faltering.
I broke the silence.
"Been fourteen years, and all you can say is ‘Oh my God?’ I was kinda expecting more, you know." I jeered amicably.
It seemed to break her out of her stupor. “No, no. It’s just that you’re the last person I’d expect seeing here. I thought you’d moved to…”
I cut her off swiftly. “Well, yes and no. I did move, but that doesn’t mean I would be rooted there for life, yes?”
"I see. On vacation, then? Weird choice, I must say." She was smiling now. Inwardly, I agreed with her opinion.
"You know me. My heart lies with all these sands." I bit my tongue. Why did I say something like that?
She showed no sign of recognition at my words.
5:00 pm. I sipped at my cappuccino. My thoughts were still a jumbled mess of sentiments; it seemed as if I was feeling everything and nothing at the same time. I averted my eyes from her. Through the tinted glass walls, I saw the city tinged with orange; the desert sun was starting to die down in the afternoon.
She sat opposite to me, her face dimly glowing with the light of her phone. After a few button presses, she laid her phone down, screen faced up, on the coffee table. As she held her own drink close to her lips, I stole a glance from her phone. She had a picture as her wallpaper.
She was her old, sweet self at the camera, arms wrapped warmly around someone. They were both smiling, eyes glinting with joy and contentment.
In a quick motion, she reached for her phone and turned it face down.
“So, I guess you just had to keep returning to this place, huh.” She casually grinned at me.
"Well, I figured that if I’m going to spend a vacation, might as well be someplace that means much to me. No sense spending too much just to get lost in some backwater." I chuckled as I gestured at the glass walls.
"Yes, I suppose that’s just right." She nodded.
We lapsed into a lengthy silence. She was looking at the glass walls, as if transfixed. Sunlight caressed her features, illuminating half of her face. I fought to keep my eyes off her. I feared that the sight would awaken some long-dead feeling. I silently muttered a curse at my own cowardice.
"Hey. what’s with the hush? You’re technically my host, after all. Be the chatty one, please." I joked.
It seemed to shake her out of her reverie. “…sorry. I was just thinking.”
"Remember the last time we met?"
As if I could actually forget that, I thought. “Of course, what about it?”
"Aren’t you mad at me?"
The question stunned me. Was I angry at her? For the past years, I had carried anguish with me, filling every corner of my brain when the memories surfaced. Each day had been a walk in darkness. But at some point, it had begun to fade; every bit of the pain and rage that grew to define me, had slowly drained off to nothing. It had frightened me when I had finally noticed. Who am I now? Who am I supposed to be? I remembered asking myself.
I decided to finally answer that question.
I looked at her, straight into her eyes. Thankfully, she did not look away. All those years did nothing to her radiance; she still shone as bright as the morning, as bright as all those past mornings we spent together.
In those few seconds, I felt nothing. I knew then that the woman in front of me, was and will always be, nothing more than a pleasant memory that would stay with me for the rest of my days; a memory of the sun that once showed me light.
"No, I’m not mad at you."
"Look, our days are long over. We had a great run, yes. But I guess that’s all it would ever be." I felt a genuine smile spread on my face.
She fell silent, but her eyes were afire with words. I returned her gaze, my own eyes simply repeating what I have said. It finally dawned on me. It was a realization that I gladly embraced.
I don’t need to walk in my own darkness anymore; I’ll just have to be my own sun.
"Thank you. For everything." She whispered. Her voice was barely audible, but steady.
"Thank you. Thank you." I replied.
5:30 pm. We sat there, smiling. Outside, the light was visibly fading; the sun was finally setting to rest.
"That reminds me. How about you give the old pals a ring? See if they’re up for a little surprise." I said, reverting to my casual, cool demeanor.
"You paying? Let’s not waste our time here." Her challenging tone was playful.
"Tell you what, let’s see how many would show up, then we’ll negotiate the terms." I laughed.
She grinned widely. “Still crafty as ever. You’d see how much has changed here when they all come.”
"You should probably bring me up to speed, then." I slouched in my chair.
"Where to start, where to start…you still remember our classmate who was always fiddling with his Rubik’s cube, even during class?" It felt like we were about to go into a long-winded conversation.
Some things never change, I suppose, I thought, remembering another scene from an older time.
"No, not really. But go ahead, tell me a story."
Thursday, 25 September 2014
*Turns out I still have an idea for an epilogue for Girl from the Dunes. I do not consider this a part of the ‘trilogy’ for a simple reason: this entry is purely fictional and was not based on true events. Let’s just say that this entry is what I imagine would happen if we ever meet again. I know I’ve said this in Barren Sky, but this will truly be the last entry for Girl from the Dunes.*
Hello Penny! I’m about to post again in a few hours, I think. :D
If I do, would you go off anon? :)
Sorry, been very busy lately. But I promise I’ll make new material soon. Thank you! :)
Hello there! Thank you so much for reading my work! Really heartening to know that you enjoyed them. :D Well, I’d probably write again within those lines, but it’s not anytime soon. It might be interesting to write some sort of epilogue to Girl from the Dunes. Again, thank you so much! Sorry for my late reply. :)